OVERHEAD
A blonde was walking along, when she looked up to observe a bird flying overhead. Suddenly, the bird drops a load directly over her. The blonde says, "Good thing I had my mouth open, or that would've hit me right in the face!"

DENT REMOVAL
A blonde left her car out in a hailstorm. When the storm was over she checked the car and found out it was covered with small dents. She went to the local garage and inquired how to fix the problem. The mechanic jokingly told her to blow on the tailpipe and the dents would be removed. So, she took the car home parked it and proceeded to blow on the pipe. Another blonde came by and inquired what she was doing. She told her she was blowing on the tailpipe to remove the dents. The other blonde responded, "That's not going to work unless you roll up the windows!"

ON THE SAFE SIDE
A blonde, about to go on a date, goes into the drug store to buy some condoms—just in case. She walks up to the pharmacist and asks, "How much for a box of condoms?" "They're one dollar for a box of three," he replied, "Plus eight cents for the tax." "Oh," said the blonde, "I wondered how they kept them on."

NEW TECH
A blonde says to her psychiatrist, "I'm on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining that they can never reach me." He replies, "Don't you have a phone in your car?" She says, "That was a little too expensive, so I did the next best thing. I put a mailbox in my car." The psychiatrist, laughing to himself, asks, "Uh, how's that working?" The blonde replies, "Actually, I haven't gotten any letters yet." He asks, "And why do you think that is?" The blonde in all her wisdom replies, "I figure it's because when I'm driving around my post code keeps changing.

THE JUMPER
A blonde and a redhead met in a bar after work for a drink and were watching the six o’clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead $50 he wouldn't jump, and the redhead replied, "I'll take that bet!" Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50 she owed. The redhead said, "I can't take this, you're my friend." The blonde said, "No. A bet's a bet. You won the money." So the redhead said, "Listen, I have to admit, I saw this on the five o'clock news, so I can't take your money." The blonde replied, "Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!"

CRIME OF PASSION
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her. She goes to his apartment to check on him, and sure enough, she opens the door to find him in the arms of a buxom redhead. The blonde is furious and shattered by his utter duplicity. Overcome with emotion, she brings out a gun and points it at her own temple. The boyfriend yells "No, don't do it! I'm sorry! I love you!" She cocks the hammer and screams, "Shut up! You're next!"

THE MIRROR
A brunette, redhead and blonde went to a fitness spa for some fun and relaxation. After a stimulating healthy lunch, all three decided to visit the ladies' room and found a strange-looking woman sitting at the entrance who said, "Welcome to the ladies room. Be sure to check out our newest feature--a mirror which, if you look into it and say something truthful, you will be awarded with a wish. But, be warned, for if you say something false, you will be sucked into the mirror to live in a void of nothingness for all eternity!" The three women quickly entered and, upon finding the mirror, the brunette said, "I think I'm the most beautiful of us three," and in an instant she was surrounded by a pile of money. The redhead stepped up and said, "I think I'm the most talented of us three," and she suddenly found the keys to a brand new Lexus in her hands. Excited over the possibility of having a wish come true, the blonde looked into the mirror and said, "I think..." and was promptly sucked into the mirror.

BIRDIE
A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park. The brunette says suddenly, "Aw, look at the dead birdie." The blonde stops, looks up, and says, "Where?"

LOCKED DOOR
Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. The first said "I can't seem to get this door unlocked!" The second replied, "Well, you'd better hurry up, its starting to rain and the top is down!"

SWIMMING THE ENGLISH CHANNEL
There was a competition to cross the English Channel doing only the breaststroke, and the three women who entered the race were a brunette, a redhead and a blonde. After approximately 14 hours, the brunette staggered up on the shore and was declared the fastest breaststroker. About 40 minutes later, the redhead crawled up on the shore and was declared the second place finisher. Nearly 4 hours after that, the blonde finally came ashore and promptly collapsed in front of the worried onlookers. When the reporters asked why it took her so long to complete the race, she replied, "I don't want to sound like I'm a sore loser, but I think those two other girls were using their arms..."

SKYDIVING
A blonde and a brunette are skydiving. The brunette jumps out the plane and pulls the cord--nothing happens. She pulls the emergency cord and still nothing. The blonde jumps out of the plane and yells, "Oh! So you wanna race, huh?"

TRACKS
Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down and said "Oh, look at the deer tracks." The other blonde looks and says "Those aren't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks." "No. Those are deer tracks." They keep arguing and half-an-hour later they were both killed by a train.

HANDLES
Did you hear the one about the blonde who thought "love handles" referred to her ears?

STATE CAPITOLS
One day a blonde decided that she had had it with the "Dumb Blonde" jokes going around. As a result, she decided she would show all the sexists that blondes really are smart, so she set out to learn the capitol of each of the United States. A few days later, armed with her new-found knowledge, she overheard the watercooler talk among some co-workers; again brazenly laughing over the lack of blonde intellect. Having had our fill, our buxom blonde interrupted the group and advised she could prove to them that all blondes were not dumb. She said she could give the capitol of any state, and taken aback by her confidence, a gentleman asked her to name the capitol of the State of Maine. With a few moments of thought, the blonde, as confident as could be, smiled and gleefully stated "M"!

LIBRARY
Did you hear about the blonde that went to library and checked out a book called "How to Hug"? Got back to the dorm and found out it was volume seven of the encyclopedia.

BLONDE SUICIDE
A blonde went to the doctor's office and the doctor said, "How did you get a hole in your left hand?" The blonde replied, "I wanted to commit suicide so I took a gun and put it up to my chest, but then I thought, 'This will mess up my $3,000 boob job.' So, I put the gun up to my nose and thought, 'This will mess up my $2,000 nose reconstruction.' So, then, I decided to put the gun to my ear. Now, I'm afraid of noises, so I put my left hand up to my other ear and pulled the trigger."

HEAD AND SHOULDERS
A blonde and a brunette were talking one day. The brunette said her boyfriend had a slight dandruff problem but she gave him "Head and Shoulders" and the problem had cleared. The blonde asked inquisitively, "How do you give shoulders?"

THE FIELD
Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat. The driver blonde turned to her friend and said, "You know, it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!" To this the other blonde replied, "I know, and if I knew how to swim I'd go out there and drown her."

RESPONSIBLE DRIVER
A car was driving down the street when suddenly it started swerving. The car was going back and forth until someone with a cell phone called the police. A police officer pulled the car over. A blonde rolls down the window and says, "Officer, I'm so glad you are here. I saw a tree in the road, then I saw another. So I  had to swerve to keep from hitting it!" The officer looks at her, then says, "Ma'am, that's your air freshener."

HANGING AROUND
A blonde decided to commit suicide by hanging herself from a tree in the park. Two days later, a man was walking his dog and spotted her hanging from the tree. He asked the blonde what she was doing and she replied,"I'm hanging myself. "You're supposed to put the noose around your neck, not your waist," said the onlooker. "I already tried that," replied the blonde, "but I couldn't breathe."

QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS
Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A: Gifted!

Q: How do blonde brain cells die?
A: Alone.

Q: What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?
A: Pregnant.

Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.

Q: How does a blonde part their hair?
A: By doing the splits.

Q: Why aren't blondes good cattle herders?
A: Because they can't even keep two calves together!

Q: What did the blonde's right leg say to the left leg?
A: Nothing. They've never met.

Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A: Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!

Q: When does a brunette have 1/2 of a brain?
A: After a dye job.

Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Q: How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's Wite-Out on the screen.
Q: How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer?
A. There's writing on the Wite-Out.

Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?
A: (With a rocking of the head from side to side) I dunno!

Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings?
A: They have to have some place to rest their ankles.

Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
A: Because red means stop.

Q: Why don't blondes use vibrators?
A: They chip their teeth.

Q: What do blondes do for foreplay?
A: Remove their underwear.

Q: What's the mating call of the blonde?
A: "I'm *sooo* drunk!"

Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?
A: (Screaming) "I said: I'm drunk!"

Q: How did the blonde die ice fishing?
A: She was run over by the zamboni machine.

Q: Why do blondes drive BMWs?
A: Because they can spell it.

Q: What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side?
A: An interpreter.

Q: How do you change a blonde's mind?
A: Blow in her ear.

Q: How do you change a blonde's mind?
A: Buy her another beer.

Q: What's the first thing a blonde does after sex?
A: Opens the car door.

Q: How do blondes turn the light on after sex?
A: Kick open the car door.

Q: Why is a blonde like a door knob?
A: Because everybody gets a turn.

Q: Why is a blonde like railroad tracks?
A: Because she's been laid all over the country.

Q: Why do blondes have orgasms?
A: So they know when to stop having sex!

Q: What does a blonde say when you blow in their ear?
A: "Thanks for the refill!"

Q: What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear?
A: Data transfer.

Q: How can you tell which blonde is the waitress?
A: She is the one with the tampon behind her ear, wondering what she did with her pencil.

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a 747?
A: Not everyone has been in a 747.

Q: What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
A: "Are you sure it's mine?"

Q: What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.

Q: Why did the blonde stop using the pill?
A: Because it kept falling out.

Q: Why did the blonde have a sore navel?
A: Because her boyfriend was also blonde!

Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first?
A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions.

Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?
A: Her IQ goes up!

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a toothbrush?
A: You don't let your best friend borrow your toothbrush.

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and "The Titanic"?
A: Only a few hundred men went down on "The Titanic."

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a guy?
A: The blonde has the higher sperm count.

Q: Why is a washing machine better than a blonde?
A: Because you can drop your load in a washing machine, and it won't follow you around for a week.

Q: What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.

Q: How do you tell if a blonde did your landscaping?
A: The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard.

Q: What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
A: Change.

Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a gorilla?
A: Who knows, there is only so much a gorilla can be forced to do.

Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A: She threw it off a cliff.

Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only six months?
A: Because on the box it said, "From 2-4 years."

Q: What is the irritating part around a blonde's vagina?
A: The blonde!

Q: How does a blonde interpret 6.9?
A: 69 interrupted by a period.

Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
A: "Oh look! Donut seeds!"

Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday mornings?
A: Tell them a joke on Friday night!

Q: Why did God create blondes?
A: Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge.

Q: Why did God create brunettes?
A: Neither could the blondes.

Q: How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?
A: She fell out of the tree.

Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
A: So brunettes can remember them.

Q: How do you drive a blonde crazy?
A: Give her a bag of M&Ms and tell her to alphabetize them.

Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A: For throwing out the Ws.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and the Panama Canal?
A: One's a busy ditch.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and your job?
A: Your job still sucks after 6 months.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes before using a trampoline.

Q: How can you tell when a blonde is dating?
A: By the buckle print on her forehead.

Q: What do you call a blonde in an institution of higher learning?
A: A visitor.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.

Q: How do you measure a blonde's intelligence?
A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear!

Q: What do blondes wear behind their ears to attract men.
A: Their heels.

Q: How does a blonde get pregnant?
A: And I thought blondes were dumb!

Q: What's the disease that paralyzes blondes below the waist?
A: Marriage.

Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: You don't. They're born that way.

Q: How can you tell when a fax had been sent from a blonde?
A: There is a stamp on it.

Q: What's the difference between a pit bull and a blonde with PMS?
A: Lipstick.

Q: Why don't blondes make good pharmacists?
A: They can't get the bottle into the typewriter.

Q: What does a blonde owl say?
A: "What, what?"

Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A: From crawling across the street when the sign said, "Don't Walk."

Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
A: In case she locks the keys in her car.

Q: What are the worst six years in a blonde's life?
A: Third Grade.

Q: Why is the blonde's brain the size of a pea in the morning?
A: It swells at night.

Q: What's a blonde's idea of safe sex?
A: Locking the car door.

Q: Why did the blonde keep failing her driver's test?
A: Because every time the door opened, she jumped into the back seat.

Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?
A: She moved.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who got into the taxi, and the driver kept the "Vacant" sign up?
A: Did you hear about the blonde who went to a nudist camp for a game of strip poker?

Q: What do you call a blonde with a runny nose?
A: Full.

Q: Why don't blondes talk when having sex?
A: Their mothers told them not to talk to strangers.

Q: What do you call a blonde with 90% of her intelligence gone?
A: Divorced.

Q: Did you hear about the blond skydiver?
A: She missed the Earth!

Q: What did the Blonde get on her A.C.T.?
A: Nail polish!

Q: What is a blonde's idea of safe sex?
A: A padded dash.

Q: Why did the blonde stare at the frozen orange juice can for two hours?
A: Because it said "concentrate."

Q: a blond going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat?
A: tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.

Q: a blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm. She passes a person who asks "where did you get that?"
A: the pig says, "i won her in a raffle!"

Q: a blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
A: "six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."

Q: but why do brunettes take the pill ?
A: wishful thinking.

Q: did you hear about the blond skydiver?
A: she missed the earth!

Q: did you hear about the blond that was treated at the emergency room for a concussion and severe head wounds?
A: she tried to commit suicide by hanging herself with a bungie cord.

Q: did you hear about the blond with a masters degree in psychology?
A: she'll blow your mind, too.

Q: did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?
A: they went to see "closed for the winter".

Q: did you hear about the blonde coyote?
A: got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.

Q: did you hear about the blonde doctor?
A: she shaved her patients, then took off their clothes.

Q: did you hear about the blonde lesbian?
A: she kept having affairs with men!

Q: did you hear about the blonde that almost caused a wreck?
A: the spare tire in her trunk blew out.

Q: did you hear about the blonde that robbed a bank?
A: she tied up the safe and blew the guard.

Q: did you hear about the blonde who had an appendix operation?
A: well, now she is making money on the side.

Q: did you hear about the blonde who just bought an a.m. Radio?
A: it took her two weeks to figure out that you could play it at night.

Q: did you hear about the blonde who stood in front of a mirror With her eyes closed?
A: she wanted to see what she looked like asleep.

Q: did you hear about the blonde who tried to blow up her Husband's car?
A: she burned her lips on the tailpipe.

Q: did you hear about the blonde whose boyfriend said he loved her?
A: she believed him.

Q: did you hear about the conceited blonde?
A: she screams her own name when she comes.

Q: did you hear about the new epidemic among blondes?
A: it's called maids - if the don't get one, they die.

Q: did you hear about the new form of birth control for blondes?
A: they take off their makeup.

Q: did you hear about the new slogan for miss clairol's hair dye?
A: buy a double batch and get a snatch to match.

Q: did you here about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?
A: she missed.

Q: do you know why the blonde got fired from the m&m factory?
A: for throwing out the w's.

Q: how can you tell a blonde had a bad day?
A: her tampon is behind her ear and she doesn't know what she did with her cigarette.

Q: how can you tell if a blonde has a vibrator?
A: by the chipped tooth.

Q: how can you tell if a blonde has been in your refrigerator?
A: by the lipstick on your cucumbers.

Q: how can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?
A: she gets the pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece.

Q: how can you tell if a blonde works in an office?
A: a bed in the stockroom and huge smiles on all the Bosses' faces.

Q: how can you tell if a blonde writes mysteries?
A: she has a checkbook.

Q: how can you tell when a blonde is dating?
A: by the buckle print on her forehead.

Q: how can you tell when a fax had been sent from a blonde?
A: there is a stamp on it.

Q: how can you tell which blonde is the waitress?
A: she is the one with the tampon behind her ear, wondering What she did with her pencil.

Q: how did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?
A: she fell out of the tree.

Q: how did the blonde burn her nose?
A: bobbing for french fries.

Q: how did the blonde die drinking milk?
A: the cow fell on her.

Q: how did the blonde die ice fishing?
A: she was run over by the zambonis machine.

Q: how did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A: she threw it off a cliff.

Q: how do blonde brain cells die?
A: alone.

Q: how do you brainwash a blonde?
A: give her a douche and shake her upside down.

Q: how do you change a blonde's mind?
A: blow in her ear, or
buy her another beer.

Q: how do you confuse a blonde?
A: you don't. They're born that way.

Q: how do you confuse a blonde?
A: ask her to alphabetize a bag of m&ms.

Q: how do you describe a blonde, surrounded by drooling idiots?
A: flattered.

Q: how do you describe the perfect blonde?
A: 3 feet tall, no teeth, and a flat head to rest your beer on.

Q: how do you drown a blond?
A: put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.
A2: don't tell her to swallow.
A3: leave a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

Q: how do you get a blonde off of your knees?
A: come.

Q: how do you get a blonde pregnant?
A: come in her shoes and let the flies do the rest.

Q: how do you get a blonde to marry you?
A: tell her she's pregnant.

Q: how do you get a blondes eyes to twinkle?
A: shine a torch in her ears.

Q: how do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
A: wave to her.

Q: how do you keep a blonde busy all day?
A: put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.

Q: how do you keep a blonde busy?
A: write 'please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.

Q: how do you keep a blonde in suspense?
A: (i'll tell you tomorrow.)

Q: how do you know a blond likes you?
A: she screws you two nights in a row.

Q: how do you know a blonde has just lost her virginity?
A: her crayons are still sticky.

Q: how do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
A: you find m&m shells all over the kitchen floor.

Q: how do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
A: tell her a joke on Wednesday.

Q: how do you measure a blonde's intelligence?
A: stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear!

Q: how do you plant dope?
A: bury a blonde.

Q: how do you tell if a blonde did your landscaping?
A: the bushes are darker than the rest of the yard.

Q: how do you tell when a blonde reaches orgasm?
A: she drops her nail-file!
A2: who cares?
A3: she says, "next".
A4: the next person taps you on the shoulder.

Q: how does a bitchy blonde do it doggy style?
A: she takes off her clothes and makes her boyfriend roll over beg.

Q: how does a blond kill a fish?
A: she drowns it.

Q: how does a blond spell farm?
A: e-i-e-i-o

Q: how does a blonde commit suicide?
A: she gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.

Q: how does a blonde high-5?
A: she smacks herself in the forehead.

Q: how does a blonde hold her liquor?
A: by the ears.

Q: how does a blonde interpret 6.9?
A: a 69 interrupted by a period.

Q: how does a blonde like her eggs?
A: unfertilized.

Q: how does a blonde measure his/her I.Q.?
A: with a tire gauge!

Q: how does a blonde moonwalk?
A: she pulls down her panties and slides her ass along the floor!

Q: how does a blonde part their hair?
A: (action of scissoring legs apart)
A2: by doing splits.

Q: how does a blonde prepare for safe sex?
A: she puts on rubber based lipstick.

Q: how does the blond turn on the light after she has had sex?
A: she opens the car door.

Q: how does the blonde car pool work?
A: they all meet at work at 7:45.

Q: how is a blonde like a frying pan?
A: you have to get them hot before you put in the meat.

Q: how is a blonde like a postage stamp?
A: you lick'm, stick'em, and send'em on their way.

Q: how is a blonde like peanut-butter?
A: they spread for the bread.

Q: how many blondes does it take to make a circuit?
A: two, one to stand in the bathtub, and another to pass her the Blow dryer!

Q: how many blondes does it take to make chocolate-chip Cookies?
A: Ten… one to mix the dough and nine to peel the M&M's.
A2: three...one to mix the batter and two to squeeze the rabbit.

Q: how many blondes does it take to play hide and seek?
A: one.

Q: how many blondes does it take to play tag?
A: one.

Q: how many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: blondes screw in back seats, not in lightbulbs, silly.

Q: if a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first?
A: the brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions.
A2: the brunette. The blonde is such an air head.

Q: santa claus, the tooth fairy, a dumb blonde, and a smart Blonde are walking down the street when they spot a $10 Bill. Who picks it up?
A: the dumb blonde! Because, there is no such thing as santa Claus, the tooth fairy, or a smart blonde.

Q: to a blonde, what is long and hard?
A: grade 4.

Q: what are the worst six years in a blonde's life?
A: third grade.

Q: what can save a dying blonde?
A: hair transplants.

Q: what did the blond say when she woke up under the cow?
A: what are you guys still doing here?

Q: what did the blonde customer say to the buxom waitress after reading her name tag?
A: "'debbie'...that's cute. What did you name the other one?"

Q: what did the blonde do when her doctor told her she had sugar in her urine?
A: she peed on her corn flakes.

Q: what did the blonde do when she got her period?
A: looked around for the bastard that must have shot her?

Q: what did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur within 5 miles of home?
A: she moved 10 miles away.

Q: what did the blonde do when she heard the British were coming?
A: she stopped sucking.

Q: what did the blonde do when she noticed that someone had already written on the overhead transparency?
A: she turned it over and used the other side.

Q: what did the blonde get on her SAT?
A: nail polish!

Q: what did the blonde name her pet zebra?
A: spot.

Q: what did the blonde say about blonde jokes?
A: she said they were pretty good, but they might offend some Puerto Ricans.

Q: what did the blonde say when asked if she'd ever been Picked up by 'the fuzz'?
A: 'no. But i've been swung around by the tits.'

Q: what did the blonde say when she knocked over the priceless vase?
A: A "it's ok daddy, I'm not hurt."

Q: what did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
A: "oh look! Donut seeds!"

Q: what did the blonde say when she was trying to impress the physicist?
A: "why, i just love nuclear fission! What do you use for bait?"

Q: what did the blonde think of the new computer?
A: she didn't like it because she couldn't get MTV.

Q: what did the blonde's mom say to her before the blonde's date.
A: if you're not in bed by 12, come home.

Q: what did the blonde's right leg say to the left leg.
A: nothing - they've never met.

Q: what did the really dumb blond say when someone blew in her bra?
A: thanks for the refill.

Q: what do a blonde and a good beer have in common?
A: they both go down easy.

Q: what do a blonde and an instant lottery ticket have in common?
A: all you have to do is scratch the box to win

Q: what do a blonde and presdient gorbachev have in common?
A: they both got fucked by 10 men whilst on holiday.

Q: what do a blonde and your computer have in common?
A: you don't know how much either of them mean to you until they go down on you.

Q: what do a bowling ball and a blonde have in common?
A: chances are they'll both end up in the gutter.
A2: you can pick them up, stick your fingers in them, and throw them in the gutter and they'll always come back.

Q: what do a moped and a blond have in common?
A: they're both fun to ride until a friend sees you on one.

Q: what do blonde virgins eat?
A: baby food.

Q: what do blondes and cow-pats have in common?
A: they both get easier to pick-up with age.

Q: what do blondes do after they comb their hair?
A: they pull up their pants.

Q: what do blondes do for foreplay?
A: remove their underwear.

Q: what do blondes do with their assholes in the morning?
A: pack their lunch and send them to work.

Q: what do blondes say after sex?
A: thanks guys.
A2: are you boys all in the same band?
A3: do you guys all play for the same team
A4: that'll be $5.

Q: what do blonds and spaghetti have in common?
A: they both wriggle when you eat them.

Q: what do peroxide blonds and black men have in common?
A: they both have black roots.

Q: what do UFOs and smart blondes have in common?
A: you keep hearing about them, but never see any.

Q: what do you call 10 blondes at the bottom of the pool?
A: air pockets.

Q: what do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
A: a wind tunnel.

Q: what do you call 15 blondes in a circle?
A: a dope ring.

Q: what do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?
A: frosted flakes.

Q: what do you call 4 blondes lying on the ground?
A: an air mattress.

Q: what do you call a basement full of blondes?
A: a whine cellar.

Q: what do you call a blond mother-in-law?
A: an air bag.

Q: what do you call a blond with a bag of sugar on her head ?
A: sweet fuck all...

Q: what do you call a blonde between two brunettes?
A: a mental block.

Q: what do you call a blonde golfer with an IQ of 125?
A: a foursome.

Q: what do you call a blonde in a tree with a brief case?
A: branch manager.

Q: what do you call a blonde in an institution of higher Learning?
A: a visitor.

Q: what do you call a blonde lesbian?
A: a waste.

Q: what do you call a blonde on a waterbed?
A: cherry float

Q: what do you call a blonde touching her toes?
A: a brunette with bad breath.

Q: what do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A: pregnant.

Q: what do you call a blonde with 90% of her intelligence gone?
A: divorced.

Q: what do you call a blonde with a dollar on the top of their Head?
A: all you can eat, under a buck.

Q: what do you call a blonde with a runny nose?
A: full.

Q: what do you call a blonde with e.s.p. and p.m.s.?
A: a know-it-all bitch.

Q: what do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A: gifted!

Q: what do you call a blonde without an asshole?
A: divorced.

Q: what do you call a brunette and three blondes on a corner?
A: you don't, you see if you've got 3 condoms.

Q: what do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side?
A: an interpreter.

Q: what do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel?
A: an air bag.

Q: what do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head?
A: a space invader.

Q: what do you call a room full of blonde women with yeast infections?
A: a whine and cheese party!

Q: what do you call a skeleton in the closet with blonde hair?
A: last years hide and go seek winner.

Q: what do you call a smart blond?
A: a golden retriever.
A2: an indicator of a really bad hangover.

Q: what do you call a swimming pool full of blondes?
A: bobbing for bimbos.

Q: what do you call a zit on a blonde's ass?
A: a brain tumor.

Q: what do you call an unmarried blond in a bmw?
A: divorcee'

Q: what do you call five blondes at the bottom of the pool?
A: air bubbles.

Q: what do you call four blondes in a Volkswagon?
A: far-from-thinkin

Q: what do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair brunette?
A: artificial intelligence.

Q: what do you call it when a blonde gets taken over by a demon?
A: a vacant possession.

Q: what do you call two nuns and a blonde?
A: two tight ends and a wide receiver.

Q: what do you do when a blonde throes a hand grenade at you?
A: pull the pin and throw it back.

Q: what do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
A: run like hell... she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.

Q: what do you get when you cross a blonde and a gorilla?
A: who knows, there is only so much a gorilla can be forced to do...

Q: what do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?
A: I don't know, there are some things even a blonde won't do.
A2: something that when it gives you a blow job, it won't stop until it gets blood.

Q: what do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
A: change.

Q: what do you get when you turn 3 blondes upside-down?
A: two brunettes.

Q: what do you give the blonde that has everything?
A: penicillin.

Q: what do you say to a blonde that won't give in?
A: "have another beer."

Q: what do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs?
A: "nice tits!"

Q: what do you see when you look into a blonde's eyes?
A: the back of her head.

Q: what does "bones" mccoy say before he performs brain surgery on a blonde?
A: "space. The final frontier......"

Q: what does a blond and a beer bottle have in common?
A: they're both empty from the neck up.

Q: what does a blond say during a porno?
A: there I am!!

Q: what does a blonde and a tampon have in common?
A: they're both stuck up cunts!

Q: what does a blonde answer to the question "are you sexually active?"
A: "no, i just lie there."

Q: what does a blonde do if she is not in bed by 10?
A: she picks up her purse and goes home.

Q: what does a blonde make best for dinner?
A: reservations.

Q: what does a blonde owl say?
A: what, what?

Q: what does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A: her ankles.

Q: what does a blonde say after multiple orgasms?
A: way to go team!

Q: what does a blonde say if you blow in her ear?
A: "thanks for the refill!"

Q: what does a blonde say when she gives birth?
A: gee, are you sure it's mine?

Q: what does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on?
A: it's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off.

Q: what does a blonde think an innuendo is?
A: an Italian suppository.

Q: what does a peroxide blonde and a 747 have in common?
A: they both have a black box.b A2: both have a cockpit.

Q: what does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
A: the more you bang it the looser it gets.

Q: what does the Bermuda triangle and blondes have in common?
A: they've both swallowed a lot of seamen.

Q: what does the postcard from a blond's vacation say?
A: having a wonderful time. Where am i?

Q: what goes vroom, screech,vroom, screech,vroom, screech?
A: a blonde going through a flashing red light.

Q: what happens when a blonde gets alzheimers disease?
A: her iq goes up!

Q: what happens when a blonde puts her panties on backwards?
A: she gets her ass chewed out.

Q: what important question does a blonde ask his/her mate Before having sex?
A: do you want this by the hour, or the flat rate?

Q: what is 68 to a blonde?
A: where she goes down on you and you owe her 1.

Q: what is a bellybutton for?
A: it gives a blonde a place to park her gum on the way down.

Q: what is a blonde's favorite part of a gas station?
A: the air pump!

Q: what is a blonde's idea of dental floss?
A: pubic hair.

Q: what is a blonde's only complaint about oral sex?
A: the lousy view.

Q: what is blond, brunette, blond, brunette, blond, brunette, ....?
A: a blond doing cartwheels.

Q: what is blonde and green and jumps from bed to bed?
A: a prostitoad.

Q: what is every blonde's ambition in life?
A: to be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

Q: what is foreplay for a blonde?
A: thirty minutes of begging.

Q: what is it called when a blonde blows in another blond's ear?
A: data transfer.

Q: what is the best blonde secretary in the world to have?
A: one that never misses a period.

Q: what is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?
A: trying to hold on to a thought.

Q: what is the blonde's chronic speech impediment?
A: she can't say "no".

Q: what is the blonde's favorite battery?
A: ever-ready.

Q: what is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp?
A: they both get screwed on the front of a Ford Escort.

Q: what is the definition of the perfect woman?
A: a deaf and dumb blonde nymphomaniac whose father owns a pub.

Q: what is the difference between a blond and a 747?
A: not everyone has been in a 747

Q: what is the difference between a blond and a toilet?
A: a toilet won't follow you around after you use it.

Q: what is the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
A: you can only get three fingers in a bowling ball.
A2: you can't fit the blonde in the bowling ball.
A3: there is no difference. They're both round and have Three holes to poke.
A4: you don't eat your bowling ball

Q: what is the difference between a blonde and a prostitute?
A: prostitutes don't drive Ferrari's

Q: what is the difference between a blonde and a shower?
A: a shower has to be turned on to get wet.

Q: what is the difference between a blonde and an inflatable doll?
A: about 2 cans of hair spray

Q: what is the difference between a blonde and the grand old duke of York?
A: the grand old duke of york only 'had' 10000 men.

Q: what is the difference between a blonde and The Titanic?
A: they know how many men went down on The Titanic.

Q: what is the difference between a crazy fighting hockey player and a blonde?
A: he is fussy by nature and would go to any length to get a puck.

Q: what is the difference between a new blonde and an old blonde?
A: vaseline and poli-grip.

Q: what is the difference between a smart blonde and bigfoot?
A: bigfoot has been spotted.

Q: what is the difference between blondes and traffic signs?
A: some traffic signs say stop.

Q: what is the difference between butter and a blonde?
A: butter is difficult to spread.

Q: what is the difference between Elvis and smart blondes?
A: Elvis has been sighted.

Q: what is the first thing a blonde learns when she takes driving lessons ?
A: you can also sit upright in a car.

Q: what is the irritating part around a blonde's vagina?
A: the blonde!
A2: the other guys waiting their turn.

Q: what is the mating call of the ugly blonde?
A: (screaming) "I said: I'm drunk!"

Q: what is the worst thing about sex with a blond?
A: bucket seats.

Q: what job function does a blonde have in an m&m factory?
A: proofreading.

Q: what nickname is most used by blondes in order to boost their popularity?
A: b.j.

Q: what two things in the air can get a blonde pregnant?
A: her feet!

Q: what was the blond psychic's greatest achievment?
A: an in-body experience!

Q: what was the blonde surgeon's claim to fame?
A: the world's first hemorrhoid transplant.

Q: what will she ask you?
A: "is it mine?"

Q: what's 5 miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A: a blonde parade.

Q: what's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?
A: humpme dumpme.

Q: what's a blonde's idea of safe sex?
A: locking the car door.

Q: what's a blonds' favourite rock group?
A: Air Bupply.

Q: whats black and fuzzy and hangs from the ceiling ?
A: a blond electrician

Q: what's brown and red and black and blue?
A: a brunette who's told one too many blonde jokes.

Q: what's six inches long, has a bald head, and drives blondes crazy?
A: a hundred dollar bill.

Q: what's the blonde's cheer?
A: " i'm blonde, i'm blonde, i'm b.l.o.n....ah, oh well.. I'm blonde, i'm blonde, yea yea yea..."

Q: what's the definition of a metallurgist?
A: a man who can tell if a platinum blonde is a virgin metal or a common ore.

Q: whats the differance between a fridge and a fanny?
A: a fridge dosn't fart when you take the meat out.

Q: what's the difference between a blond and an ice cream cone?
A: ice cream cones don't lick back.

Q: what's the difference between a blond having her period and a terrorist?
A: you can negotiate with a terrorist.

Q: what's the difference between a blonde and a blonde bitch?
A: a blonde will fuck anyone, a blonde bitch will fuck anyone but you.

Q: what's the difference between a blonde and a brick?
A: when you lay a brick it doesn't follow you around for two weeks whining.

Q: what's the difference between a blonde and a broom closet?
A: only two men fit inside a broom closet at once.

Q: what's the difference between a blonde and a computer?
A: you only have to punch information into a computer once.

Q: what's the difference between a blonde and a guy?
A: the blonde has the higher sperm count.

Q: what's the difference between a blonde and a light bulb?
A: the light bulb is smarter, but the blonde is easier to turn on.

Q: what's the difference between a blonde and a limousine?
A: not everybody has been in a limo.

Q: what's the difference between a blonde and a phone booth?
A: you need a quarter to use the phone.
A2: only one person can use the phone at once.

Q: what's the difference between a blonde and a rooster?
A: in the morning a rooster says, "cock'll-doodl-doooo", while a blonde says, "any-cock'll-doooo."

Q: what's the difference between a blonde and a shopping cart?
A: the shopping cart has a mind of its own.

Q: whats the difference between a blonde and a supermarket trolley.
A: a supermarket trolley has a mind of its own.

Q: what's the difference between a blonde and a toothbrush?
A: you don't let your best friend borrow your toothbrush.

Q: what's the difference between a blonde and a trampoline?
A: you take off your shoes before using a trampoline.

Q: what's the difference between a blonde and a walrus?
A: one has whiskers and fishy flaps, and the other is a walrus.

Q: what's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?
A: it's difficult to open the legs of an ironing board.

Q: what's the difference between a blonde and president gorbachev?
A: he knows who the ten men were.

Q: what's the difference between a blonde and the panama canal?
A: the panama canal is a busy ditch.

Q: what's the difference between a blonde and your job?
A: your job still sucks after 6 months.

Q: what's the difference between a chorus line of blondes and a magician?
A: a magician has a cunning array of stunts.

Q: what's the difference between a counterfeit dollar and a skinny blonde?
A: one's a phony buck.

Q: what's the difference between a lesbian finger-fucking a blonde and a schwinn at the side of the road?
A: one's a bike in a ditch, and the other's . . . .

Q: what's the difference between a pit bull and a blonde with PMS?
A: lipstick.

Q: what's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, And a blonde?
A: the prostitute says "aren't you done yet?"
The nympho says "are you done already?"
The blonde says "beige...i think i'll paint the ceiling beige."

Q: what's the difference between a tribe of pygmies and a Blonde track team?
A: the pygmies are a bunch of cunning runts.

Q: what's the difference between having sex with a blonde and eating jell-o?
A: jell-o wiggles when you eat it.

Q: what's the difference between indiana and a blonde?
A: a blonde has larger hills and deeper valleys.

Q: what's the disease that paralyzes blondes below the waist?
A: marriage.

Q: what's the first thing a blonde does after sex?
A: opens the car door.

Q: what's the first thing a blonde does in the morning?
A: introduces themself.
A2: walks home.

Q: what's the first thing a blonde says in the morning?
A: "thanks, guys..."

Q: what's the mating call of the blonde?
A: "I'm *sooo* drunk!"

Q: what's the mating call of the brunette?
A: "all the blondes have gone home!"
A2: has that blonde gone yet?
A3: when is that blond bitch going to leave!?

Q: what's the mating call of the redhead?
A: "next!"

Q: what's the quickest way to get into a blondes pants?
A: pick them up off the floor

Q: what's the ultimate embarrassment for a blonde?
A: when her ben-wa balls set off the airport metal detector.

Q: where do blondes go to meet their relatives?
A: the vegetable garden.

Q: who makes a blonde's favorite potato chip?
A: free-to-lay.

Q: why are blonde's coffins y-shaped?
A: because as soon as they are on their backs, their legs open.

Q: why are blondes hurt by peoples words?
A: because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.

Q: why are blondes like cornflakes ?
A: because they're simple, easy and they taste good.

Q: why are blondes like pianos?
A: when they aren't upright, they're grand.

Q: why are blondes so easy to get into bed?
A: who cares?

Q: why are blondes so sexually promiscuous?
A: who cares

Q: why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
A: so brunettes can remember them.
A2: because blondes are so shallow a long joke wouldn't fit.

Q: why are only 2% of blondes touch-typists?
A: the rest are hunt'n peckers.

Q: why are there lip stick stains on the steering wheel after a blonde drives a car?
A: cause she blows the horn!!!!!

Q: why are there no dumb brunettes?
A: peroxide.

Q: why aren't there many blonde gymnasts?
A: because when they do the splits, they stick to the floor.

Q: why can't blondes be cattle ranchers?
A: they can't keep their calves together!

Q: why can't blondes count to 70?
A: because 69 is a bit of a mouthful.

Q: why can't blondes make ice cubes?
A: they always forget the recipe.

Q: why can't blondes put in light bulbs?
A: they keep breaking them with the hammers.

Q: why can't blondes water-ski?
A: when they get their crotch wet they think they have to lay down.

Q: why couldn't the blonde write the number eleven ?
A: she didn't know what one came first...

Q: why did god create blondes?
A: because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge.

Q: why did god create brunettes?
A: neither could the blondes.

Q: why did god give blondes 2% more brains than horses?
A: because he didn't want them shitting in the streets during parades.

Q: why did she finally pass her test?
A: she took the examiner with her

Q: why did the blonde bake a chicken for 3 and a half days?
A: it said cook it for half an hour per pound, and she weighed 125.

Q: why did the blonde call the welfare office?
A: she wanted to know how to cook food stamps!

Q: why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar?
A: she heard that the drinks were on the house.

Q: why did the blonde cross the road?
A: never mind that! What was she doing out of the bedroom?!?
A2: i don't know.
A:3 neither did she.

Q: why did the blonde drive into the ditch?
A: to turn the blinker off.

Q: why did the blonde fail at being a prostitute?
A: because she gave blow-jobs literally.

Q: why did the blonde fail her drivers license test?
A: she wasn't used to the front seat!

Q: why did the blonde get fired from the sperm bank?
A: her employer found out she was embezzling.

Q: why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A: because on the box it said from 2-4 years.

Q: why did the blonde give a blow job after sex?
A: she wanted to have her cock and eat it too.

Q: why did the blonde give up bowling for screwing?
A: the balls are lighter, and you don't have to change shoes.

Q: why did the blonde have a sore navel?
A: because her boyfriend was also blond!

Q: why did the blonde have blisters on her lips?
A: from trying to blow out light bulbs.

Q: Why did the blonde have square boobs?
A: because they forgot to take the tissues out of the box.

Q: why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A: from crawling across the street when the sign said "don't walk".

Q: why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
A: in case she locks the keys in her car.

Q: why did the blonde keep failing her driver's test?
A: because every time the door opened, she jumped into the back seat.

Q: why did the blonde keep ice cubes in the freezer?
A: so she could keep the refrigerator cold.

Q: why did the blonde put her finger over the nail when she was hammering?
A: the noise gave her a headache.

Q: why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
A: to see what was on the other side.

Q: why did the blonde scale the glass wall?
A: to see what was on the other side.

Q: why did the blonde smile when she walked the marriage aisle?
A: she realized she gave her last blowjob.

Q: why did the blonde snort nutra-sweet?
A: she thought it was diet coke.

Q: why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?
A: because it said 'concentrate'.

Q: why did the blonde stop using the pill?
A: because it kept falling out.

Q: why did the blonde take two hits of acid?
A: she wanted to go on a round trip.

Q: why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach?
A: so her male would get delivered to the right box.

Q: why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: so she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.

Q: why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
A: she saw "911" on the back and thought it was a porsche.

Q: why did the blonde want to become a veternarian?
A: because she loved children.

Q: why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
A: so she wouldn't get hearing aides.

Q: why did the blonde with a big pussy douche with crest?
A: she heard that it reduces cavities.

Q: why did the deaf blonde sit on a newspaper?
A: so she could lip read.

Q: why did they call the blond twinkie?
A: she liked to be filled with cream.

Q: why did they stop doing the "wave" at BYU?
A: too many blondes were drowning.

Q: why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane?
A: she'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much.

Q: why do all blondes all have a dimple on their chin and a Flat forehead?
A: finger on chin-i don't know. Hits forehead-oh i get it!

Q: why do blonde girls have trouble achieving orgasm?
A: *who cares?*

Q: why do blondes always drink with straws?
A: practice.

Q: why do blondes drive BMWs?
A: because they can spell it.

Q: why do blondes drive cars with sunroofs?
A: more leg room.

Q: why do blondes drive VW's
A: because they can't spell Porsche!!

Q: why do blonde's find it difficult to marry?
A: because you don't have to marry them to have sex with them!

Q: why do blonde's find it difficult to marry?
A: because you don't have to marry them for sex!

Q: why do blondes get confused in the ladies room?
A: they have to pull their own pants down.

Q: why do blondes give such good blowjobs?
A: because that's what they train for all their lives.

Q: why do blondes hate m&ms?
A: they're too hard to peel.

Q: why do blondes have big bellybuttons?
A: from dating blonde men.

Q: why do blondes have legs?
A: so they don't get stuck to the ground.
A2: to get between the bedroom and the kitchen.
A3: so they don't leave trails, like little snails.

Q: why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?
A: from eating with forks.

Q: why do blondes have more fun?
A: because they don't know any better.
A2: they are easier to keep amused.
A3: because they are easier to find in the dark.

Q: why do blondes have periods?
A: they deserve them

Q: why do blondes have see-through lunch box lids?
A: so they know if it is morning or afternoon.
A2: so that when they're on the train they can tell If they're going to work or coming home.

Q: why do blondes have TGIF on their shirts?
A: tits go in front.

Q: why do blondes have TGIF written on their shoes?
A: toes go in first.

Q: why do blondes have two more brain cells than a cow?
A: so that when you pull their tits, they don't moo.
A2: so they don't shit everywhere when you pull their tits.

Q: why do blondes have vaginas?
A: so guys will talk to them at parties.

Q: why do blondes like lightning?
A: they think someone is taking their picture.

Q: why do blondes like tilt steering?
A: more head room.

Q: why do blondes occupy about 90% of the net bandwidth?
A: because they keep accidentally deleting their copies of the blonde joke list.

Q: why do blondes put their hair in ponytails?
A: to cover up the valve stem.

Q: why do blondes take the pill?
A: so they know what day of the week it is.

Q: why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A: because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!

Q: why do blondes wear earmuffs?
A: to avoid the draft.

Q: why do blondes wear hoop earings?
A: they have to have some place to rest their ankles.

Q: why do blondes wear panties?
A: to keep their ankles warm.

Q: why do blondes wear tampons?
A: because crabs like bungie jumping too.

Q: why do blondes wear their hair up?
A: to catch as much as they can that is over their heads.

Q: why do blondes wear tight skirts?
A: to keep their legs together.

Q: why do blondes wear underwear?
A: they make good ankle warmers.

Q: why do blondes work seven days a week?
A: so you don't have to retrain them on Monday.

Q: why do blonds have orgasms ?
A: so they know when to stop having sex !

Q: why do men like blonde jokes??
A: because they can understand them.

Q: why does a blonde have fur on the hem of her dress?
A: to keep her ankles warm.

Q: why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom?
A: so she can have a doggie bag for later.

Q: why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month?
A: because it says right on it "good for up to 20 pounds."

Q: why does it work?
A: "does 3 come before e, between m and w, or at the end?"

Q: why does nasa hire peroxide blondes?
A: they're doing research on black holes.

Q: why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency?
A: they can't remember the number.

Q: why don't blondes double recipes?
A: the oven doesn't go to 700 degrees.

Q: why don't blondes eat ?
A: they can't figure out how to get two cups of water into Those little packages.

Q: why don't blondes eat pickles?
A: because they can't get their head in the jar.

Q: why don't blondes have elevator jobs?
A: they don't know the route.

Q: why don't blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini Skirts?
A: cause their balls show!

Q: why don't blondes like anal sex?
A: they don't like their brains being screwed with.

Q: why don't blondes like making kool-aid?
A: because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packet.

Q: why don't blondes make good pharmacists?
A: they can't get the bottle into the typewriter.

Q: why don't blondes talk when having sex?
A: their mothers told them not to talk to strangers.
A2: their mothers told them not with their mouths full.
A3: it's too tough to remember who she's with that day.

Q: why don't blondes use vibrators?
A: they chip their teeth.

Q: why don't blonds breast feed?
A: because they always burn their nipples.

Q: why don't they let blondes swim in the ocean?
A: because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.

Q: why is a blonde like a door knob?
A: 'cause everybody gets a turn.

Q: why is a blonde like a turtle?
A: they both get fucked up when they're on their back.

Q: why is a blonde like an old washing machine?
A: they both drip when they're fucked.

Q: why is a blonde like Australia?
A: they're both down under, and no one cares.

Q: why is a blonde like railroad tracks?
A: 'cause she's been laid all over the country.

Q: why is a washing machine better than a blonde?
A: because you can drop your load in a washing machine, and it won't follow you around for a week.

Q: why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A: you can park in the handicap zone.

Q: why is it okay for blondes to catch cold?
A: they don't have to worry about blowing their brains out.

Q: why is the blonde's brain the size of a pea in the morning?
A: it swells at night.

Q: why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
A: it takes too long to retrain them.

Q: why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to england?
A: she found out big ben is only a clock.

Q: why was the blonde upset when she got her driver's license?
A: because she got an f in sex.

Q: why won't they hire a blonde pharmacist?
A: they keep breaking the prescription bottles in the typewriters.

Q: How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
A: there's white-out on the screen.

Q: How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer?
A: there's writing on the white-out.

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